Three things I’ve learned already
It is very late and I am very tired so it is only reasonable that now is the best time for me to write. Nothing is more functional then a brain deprived of sleep, except perhaps a dead turtle. So I shall not lose any time at all in sharing these pearls of wisdom. Here are Three Things I’ve Learned Already.
I have been alive for a whopping 23 years and those years have not been wasted. I have been learning. Indeed, I have learned 3 things already and I will be so kind as to share them with you. These 3 things will change you, I am sure. Here it is:
1. You are stupid. (Offensive isn’t it? But read on – there’s more.) And so am I. So is every human being who’s born into this bright, shiny world. And we should be thankful for our stupidity, because it is the fuel in our engines. If we had been born with brains packed full and overflowing with knowledge and smarts, then we would have no reason to learn. We wouldn’t open books. We wouldn’t ask questions. We wouldn’t make mistakes and learn from them. We would simply sit around like self-sufficient toads and croak at each other. We would eat flies out of sheer boredom. Thankfully, we were created with a big black stupid void within us, and all the Britannicas in the world can’t fill it up. We spend our lives learning, trying, testing, and creating.
2. You are socially inept. In other words, you are awkward and weird. You stumble over words and you take forever to think of the right response or the proper motion. You might be described as “clumsy” because you are just that. You find that there are two kinds of situations: those situations in which you know how to act, and those situations where you are as lost as a blindfolded pioneer in the uncharted terrain of the Mississipi river. Everyone has comfort zones; but outside of your comfort zone, you are a sight to cringe at. You are pathetic and childish and any adjective that I might think of later. The top reason you are this way is to pound into your head, into your stupid stupid head, the truth of #3, as follows.
3. You should be humble. You are a single human being, endowed with a limited lifespan. Your breaths are numbered, your words are numbered and your moments are numbered. Even the channels on your TV are numbered. This shouldn’t discourage you – it should encourage you to spend your numbers in a worthwhile manner. To live a very lively life. To give from a very giving spirit. To share with others the small share of history you call “your life”. It isn’t fate or doom; it is God giving you another day to breathe fresh air. You don’t need to spend this day trying to be smart; we all know how stupid you are. You don’t need to spend this day trying to fit in; it’s obvious how hopeless you are. Instead, consider this: you’ve got friends who like you, family that loves you, and a chance at making it through today – all this despite how stupid and silly you are. That’s humbling.
I’m trying to think up a fourth point to emphasize, but that may take another 23 years and I don’t want to make you wait that long. I waited that long once and all I got was another birthday. So I wish you well and good day, and see you next time we meet.
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